Making A Man

                 Hurry the baby as fast as you can,
                 Hurry him, worry him, make him a man.
                 Off with his baby clothes, get him in pants,
                 Feed him on brain foods and make him advance.
                 Hustle him, soon as he's able to walk,
                 Into a grammar school; cram him with talk.
                 Fill his poor head full of figures and facts,
                 Keep on a-jamming them in till it cracks.
                 Once boys grew up at a rational rate,
                 Now we develop a man while you wait,
                 Rush him through college, compel him to grab
                 Of every known subject a dip and a dab.
                 Get him in business and after the cash,
                 All by the time he can grow a mustache.
                 Let him forget he was ever a boy,
                 Make gold his god and its jingle his joy.
                 Keep him a-hustling and clear out of breath,
                 Until he wins--nervous prostration and death.

                                            ---Nixon Waterman